Confessions of a first-time momma

So I have a comparison problem, and it has never reared it's ugly head as bad as it has since having a baby.  Very shortly after Luke's birth, I found myself reading articles and browsing Facebook quite frequently (mainly while he was nursing).   What I noticed next was how much complaining I did in my own heart. Imagine all of this in a woes-me-whiney tone: Our studio apartment is too small. We couldn't decorate a nursery because we don't have one. We don't have a dryer. We can't do clothe diapers because we have an awful washer. We don't own a car. We live on a BIG hill and I can barely carry two bags of groceries and a baby up it. How is Luke going to learn how to crawl or walk if we don't have the space? When is he ever going to feel grass between his toes? How is it that she had a baby two days ago and now her hair is done and make-up is on? How is she fitting into clothes that small already?

I could seriously go on FOREVER!

Everything I complained about was because of looking at what someone else had or was doing and comparing my own situation with it.  It was awful and dark and downright depressing.

Then I listened to sermon by Andy Stanley. He was preaching from Matthew 25 about the parable of the talents. If you have never read it, it goes something like this: A man was going on a long journey. So he called three of his servants in and entrusted them with some of his money (talents).  Based on their ability he entrusted one servant with 5 talents, another servant with 2 talents, and another servant with 1 talent. The two servants with 5 and 2 talents doubled the man's money.  The man considered them good and faithful, and entrusted them with more.  The servant entrusted with the 1 talent hid the money while the man was gone and only had the one talent to give back to him.  When he gave it back to the man, the servant said that he knew the man to be hard and was afraid of him.  He chose to do nothing with what was entrusted to him and blamed it on the man. The man, in turn, punished the servant for not acting wisely with what was entrusted to him.

That's the story in a nutshell.  Read Matthew 25: 14-30 for the full parable.

Needless to say, my heart was convicted by this.  I have been entrusted with possessions that are not my own. It doesn't matter how much I have been entrusted with; it only matters that I have been entrusted... with a marriage, a sweet baby boy, an apartment (with gobs of things in it like a washer, a kitchen, clothing, ext), and I could go on.

The point being I have been entrusted, so what will I do with it all?  Up to this point I have been like the last servant. I feel shafted with what I have been given and so I have complained and belly-ached in my heart.  But that is so wrong. Not only does that rob me of the joy of realizing what I do have, but it also doesn't motivate me to make much of what I have.

There are so many other lessons to learn from all of this. But today, this is what God is reminding my heart. What a difference my attitude is towards my circumstances when I look at them through the lens of being faithful to the one who has entrusted me. Now to go and make much of it all....