We currently do not have Internet, so I am writing this on my phone. Please forgive the typos and autocorrect mistakes.
Before I go into details on our current situation, I want to put a little disclaimer out there: If you are a momma please know that my opinions are not a judgment on any birthing experience. I am in no way criticizing or judging someone who thinks about all this baby stuff differently than my own thoughts. To each there own.
Ok so here it is..... God has truly placed having a baby as naturally as possible on my heart. Last week when my doctor told me a natural birth would not be possible because of Luke's size, I was confused. Those are two contradictory ideas.
I did not understand how to make sense of the two, but Kev and I whole heartedly trusted that God would sort this all out one way or another.
We met with our doula on Friday for the first time. Amazing is about the only word that sums her up. Regardless of if she agrees with me, she got me. She understood where my heart was with all of this. It was decided at our meeting that she was going to call around to some birth clinics and see if they would even hear our story. You see, in Japan you have to register your pregnancy with an institution (hospital, clinic, ext) as soon as you find out you are pregnant. If you don't, it is close to impossible to get the institution to let you deliver your baby there. We both knew it was very unlikely that a clinic would take me this late into my pregnancy.
By 11am on Saturday, our doula had called us twice with gobs of info. Some of it was discouraging. She had called so many clinics that wouldn't even entertain the thought of accepting me because they said that if a doctor has said our baby is too big and has requested an induction or c-section then an induction or c-section is what I need.
The good news was that she did find a clinic about 45 minutes away that would at least let us visit. midwife was interested in meeting with us and hearing our story.
So at 10am today we went to the maternity clinic and met with the midwife. She showed us around the facility. I gave her all of my medical records for this pregnancy. Not only was I on cloud 9 from seeing the facility and hearing her philosophy on labor and deliver, she also said she would take us on! There was just one thing... We needed to get a second opinion from another doctor.
She made us an appointment with a doctor near her clinic. She drove us there and sat with us. We were there for about 30 minutes. We never saw the doctor or gave him information about Luke. The nurse came out to talk to her and told her the same ol' thing... If my doctor said the baby is too big then he is too big.
The midwife asked us to try one more doctor. She said that if he would not see us then her clinic could not take us. We had to wait until the late afternoon for the appointment. Kev and I went to lunch. We were annoyed, yes, but we also knew that this was it. Whatever this doctor did would be our final say at what to do about Luke's delivery. We would accept that and be ok with it. We prayed. We gave the whole situation over to God again and then just rested in knowing that what will be will be.
At 4 we met with the midwife at our appointment. We waited for a little while and Kev said that just as they called me back, "There can be miracles, when you believe" came on the radio. Coincidence? Ha!
The midwife explained our story to the doctors. We showed them our ultrasounds and paperwork. They seemed to think it was odd that our doctor had scheduled an induction so early on. We had three different doctors exam me with three different ultrasounds and the consensus from all three was that our baby has crazy long femurs, our baby is definitely a boy, and our baby is not too big. And with that the midwife told us we could cancel with our hospital and that she would see me on Friday for an appointment and yoga.
There really can be miracles when you believe. I don't care how cheesy that sounds! We serve an awesome God who is concerned with the details. Praise Him!
Thank you for your words of encouragement and prayers. We are so incredibly blessed with sweet friends and family.
Tomorrow we head to the hospital to officially cancel the induction and to politely explain we will be going elsewhere for labor and delivery.
The other blessing with switching to this maternity clinic is that now we don't have to spend gobs of money on a private room! Yay! We are so happy... So very happy.
Monday, August 19, 2013
Monday, August 12, 2013
inductions, c-sections, and a healthy baby... oh my...
For 35 weeks Bean has been growing and growing. Since day one my doctor has talked about the fact that our baby is bigger than "normal." And it's true. We are having a big boy. As of yesterday, the doctor's guess was that he is about 6.7 pounds. He joked with me at 28 weeks that if Luke kept growing like this then he would be a 10 pound baby. But that was it. Just the mention of how big he could get and some laughs from me, the doctor, and the nurses.
However, at yesterday's appointment, no one was laughing. Luke is fine and healthy. The doctor told us his estimates about weight and length. After that, he took a more serious, slightly threatening tone. He told us that he is concerned that our baby will be too large and that he won't fit through my pelvis. He then went on a tangent about how we need to induce him by 37 weeks (that's August 25) or I will have to have a C-section.
There have been few times where I have felt the life completely sucked out of me, but as he said that I deflated like a balloon losing air. I couldn't look at Kevin. I couldn't even object to what he was saying because I knew that I would burst into tears with the first attempt at speaking.
Since the moment I found out I was pregnant, I have been researching and researching about fetal development, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and all other things baby. I have read Your Pregnancy and Birth, The Birth Partner, What to Expect When You Are Expecting, Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way, Ready Steady Baby, Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy, Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding, and gobs of blogs. I have also watched several documentaries and countless videos on every type of delivery. I did not do all this research to be a know-it-all or to be opinionated. I have been researching because simply put, I live in Japan. I do not understand 85% of what my doctor is trying to communicate to me, and the other 15% is what I think I understand but have been wrong about before. Here is an example (boys you may want to stop reading). At 16 weeks pregnant I had a vaginal exam. While I was in stirrups with my pants off and my lady parts available for all to gaze at, my doctor started talking to me about concerns he had with foods. He started asking me questions about foods, to which I happily explained to him that I was eating all kinds of fruits and vegetables, especially oranges and brussels sprouts (a few of my cravings). He immediately stopped asking questions which I was thrilled about since he was staring at my goods during this conversation. A little later, the one nurse I have found that speaks English approached me to clarify that the doctor was talking to me about fluids, vaginal fluids, not foods. He was a bit confused as to why I was I talking about oranges and brussels sprouts when he was asking me about the color of my discharge. Anyway, just an example of how easily I misunderstand my doctor.
I research because I want to make the best decisions for baby and myself. I do not understand how labor and delivery will work at my hospital. I want to make sure that I understand how my body works and how I was created before I go into labor in a place where I cannot understand hardly anything (the Japanese hospital). In all my research, this is the conclusion I have come to... my body is creatively and wonderfully designed to have a baby, even a 10 pounder, without medical interventions. I understand that emergencies happen and that in those moments c-sections and other medical interventions may be necessary; however, it is my belief that it is for those cases... emergencies.
My problem with my doctor right now is that I am not an emergency. Luke and I haven't even been given the chance to let our bodies do what they are capable of doing. My pregnancy went from natural to an illness in a matter of moments.
We left the hospital yesterday, and I went on a long walk to talk with God about this situation. My doctor thinks that baby is too big and that my pelvic bones were not made to let him through. My doctor is used to 5'2 women who weigh 100 pounds at the start of pregnancy and give birth to babies that average less than 6 pounds at birth. My doctor thinks that we need to speed up a process that God designed and is perfectly natural. My doctor thinks my body is defected and will need surgery in order to deliver this baby if he gets much bigger. I think I would trust my doctor's opinion a little more if he at least gave us a chance at the natural way. So as it stands right now, we can go into labor naturally by August 24, or be induced on August 25 because the baby will get too big, or wait for labor to start naturally but then have to deal with a doctor who is pushy with c-sections and will think it's medically necessary the moment I go into labor.
All that to say that Kevin and I are daily (for me sometimes hourly) surrendering this at His feet. Sometimes I think I know what to pray for and other times I cannot help but to just be still. God is bigger than my doctor, He's bigger than my pregnancy and baby, and He is bigger than me. I do not pretend to understand His ways all the time, but I will rest in them because I know He is a good God who cares. We will continue to seek Him for wisdom and discernment to either accept what the doctor is saying or to go against the doctor's judgment.
On Friday, we are meeting with an American doula who speaks Japanese. She is very educated in childbirth and in the Japanese way of things. We have no doubt that God is sending her to us as a help in this time.
We are also looking at other alternatives (i.e. other hospitals) which have a whole other slew of issues that I won't even begin to write about now.
We covet your prayers.
We'll keep you updated.
It's go time Bean!
However, at yesterday's appointment, no one was laughing. Luke is fine and healthy. The doctor told us his estimates about weight and length. After that, he took a more serious, slightly threatening tone. He told us that he is concerned that our baby will be too large and that he won't fit through my pelvis. He then went on a tangent about how we need to induce him by 37 weeks (that's August 25) or I will have to have a C-section.
There have been few times where I have felt the life completely sucked out of me, but as he said that I deflated like a balloon losing air. I couldn't look at Kevin. I couldn't even object to what he was saying because I knew that I would burst into tears with the first attempt at speaking.
Since the moment I found out I was pregnant, I have been researching and researching about fetal development, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and all other things baby. I have read Your Pregnancy and Birth, The Birth Partner, What to Expect When You Are Expecting, Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way, Ready Steady Baby, Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy, Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding, and gobs of blogs. I have also watched several documentaries and countless videos on every type of delivery. I did not do all this research to be a know-it-all or to be opinionated. I have been researching because simply put, I live in Japan. I do not understand 85% of what my doctor is trying to communicate to me, and the other 15% is what I think I understand but have been wrong about before. Here is an example (boys you may want to stop reading). At 16 weeks pregnant I had a vaginal exam. While I was in stirrups with my pants off and my lady parts available for all to gaze at, my doctor started talking to me about concerns he had with foods. He started asking me questions about foods, to which I happily explained to him that I was eating all kinds of fruits and vegetables, especially oranges and brussels sprouts (a few of my cravings). He immediately stopped asking questions which I was thrilled about since he was staring at my goods during this conversation. A little later, the one nurse I have found that speaks English approached me to clarify that the doctor was talking to me about fluids, vaginal fluids, not foods. He was a bit confused as to why I was I talking about oranges and brussels sprouts when he was asking me about the color of my discharge. Anyway, just an example of how easily I misunderstand my doctor.
I research because I want to make the best decisions for baby and myself. I do not understand how labor and delivery will work at my hospital. I want to make sure that I understand how my body works and how I was created before I go into labor in a place where I cannot understand hardly anything (the Japanese hospital). In all my research, this is the conclusion I have come to... my body is creatively and wonderfully designed to have a baby, even a 10 pounder, without medical interventions. I understand that emergencies happen and that in those moments c-sections and other medical interventions may be necessary; however, it is my belief that it is for those cases... emergencies.
My problem with my doctor right now is that I am not an emergency. Luke and I haven't even been given the chance to let our bodies do what they are capable of doing. My pregnancy went from natural to an illness in a matter of moments.
We left the hospital yesterday, and I went on a long walk to talk with God about this situation. My doctor thinks that baby is too big and that my pelvic bones were not made to let him through. My doctor is used to 5'2 women who weigh 100 pounds at the start of pregnancy and give birth to babies that average less than 6 pounds at birth. My doctor thinks that we need to speed up a process that God designed and is perfectly natural. My doctor thinks my body is defected and will need surgery in order to deliver this baby if he gets much bigger. I think I would trust my doctor's opinion a little more if he at least gave us a chance at the natural way. So as it stands right now, we can go into labor naturally by August 24, or be induced on August 25 because the baby will get too big, or wait for labor to start naturally but then have to deal with a doctor who is pushy with c-sections and will think it's medically necessary the moment I go into labor.
All that to say that Kevin and I are daily (for me sometimes hourly) surrendering this at His feet. Sometimes I think I know what to pray for and other times I cannot help but to just be still. God is bigger than my doctor, He's bigger than my pregnancy and baby, and He is bigger than me. I do not pretend to understand His ways all the time, but I will rest in them because I know He is a good God who cares. We will continue to seek Him for wisdom and discernment to either accept what the doctor is saying or to go against the doctor's judgment.
On Friday, we are meeting with an American doula who speaks Japanese. She is very educated in childbirth and in the Japanese way of things. We have no doubt that God is sending her to us as a help in this time.
We are also looking at other alternatives (i.e. other hospitals) which have a whole other slew of issues that I won't even begin to write about now.
We covet your prayers.
We'll keep you updated.
It's go time Bean!
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