Bring it on 28!

So here are some crazy thoughts:

Kevin and I are putting together our home. WEIRD!  We just purchased all kinds of random items for the house including... our baby-making bed.  That was, well, weird to purchase together.  It is so weird to think that in less than 3 months I am going to live with a boy.

What is even CRAZIER is thinking that I could be pregnant in the next year.  I have NEVER thought of any of this before.  I guess I have been so caught up in the "honeymoon" stage of engagement that these thoughts never crossed my mind... until now.

Though I am 28, I get short of breath just thinking about the fact that I could have a baby relatively soon in my life.  Yikes.  Now, I would love to have children one day, but the thought that, that day may be soon... wow... well it leaves me a lil' dizzy.

Lets be clear though, the world knows we are waiting until August 5th. So don't get any ideas =)  I'm just sayin'.

So lets rewind a bit and talk about another crazy thing that will happen.  I'M GETTING MARRIED!  WHAT!?!?!?!

When I was a little girl, I honestly daydreamed about this day.  I even have to admit that in junior high, my friends and I cut up wedding magazines and made a journal of what we wanted our weddings to be like when it finally happened to us.  The dress I chose back then is hideous!  It is so gaudy and it has a train that is as long as the aisle you walk down.

Thank God that reality is so much better than my dreams.  I don't even know how to put into words how excited I am to marry Kevin.  I honestly cannot describe it.

People have been asking me lately if I am ready to get married.  How do I answer that?  Is anyone ever ready?  Am I?  I'll tell you what I know.  I know that I am still selfish.  I know that at times I still seek my own ways.  I know that I am stubborn.  I know that I have learned to fight and stand my ground in life because at one time, those characteristics were very crucial and necessary.  I know I am slightly a perfectionist.  I don't see the point in doing something unless you are going to do it right and do it the best way possible.

I also know I am in love with a man who makes me want to die to myself.  He loves in such a compassionate way that I don't want to seek my own way; I want to look out for him.  He shows me a whole different side of love that makes me want to surrender my stubborn pride because loving him is so much better than being right or getting my way.

So am I ready to get married?  The answer is probably no.  I'm not ready because of all the reasons I mentioned earlier.  But when you put Kevin into the equation, the whole scenario changes.  Am I ready to marry Kevin?  HECK YES!  I am ready to marry Kevin because Kevin is the most courageous, selfless, pure-hearted, Christ-led man that I have ever met, and he inspires me to love in ways I have never known before.

I'm getting married folks!  Mark your calendars and bring your dancin' shoes because we're gonna celebrate!

The Proposal: The rest of the story

So there I am with MB shopping for what seemed like hours (it was probably 45 minutes).  I get a text message from Autumn, my roommate.  She is one of the sweetest people I know. Her message comes across a bit more forceful than normal.  She said something like, "Meet me at Next, I want to come shopping with you guys."  A typical Autumn text would say something closer to, "Hey Steph!  If you wouldn't mind, can I join you and MB for some shopping.  If I am an inconvenience, please don't worry about it.  I don't want to intrude."

Just then I had a great idea!  If Autumn wants to go shopping and MB wants to go shopping, why don't I just go home and let the two of them be on their way, merrily shopping together. MB didn't go for the idea and quickly changed the subject.  Instead, she thought it would be a great idea to go for a walk to Yamashita Park.  It's a beautiful walk when it's not 30 degrees and oober windy.

So off we went in the freezing cold.  MB was walking so friggin' slow and taking her sweet time capturing pictures of the most ridiculous things. She took pictures of fireworks that hadn't gone off yet, meaning she took pictures of white tubes on the sidewalk.  She took a picture of an empty dock, of men up in a forklift, anything silly and pointless, she took a picture of it.  I thought she was crazy and my irritation was building more and more.  At this point, we had been shopping and walking outside for like 3 or 4 hours.  Around 5, Autumn finally texted us again to tell us to meet her in World Porters (a big shopping mall.)

As soon as we went in, Autumn's first suggestion was to go take Purikura.  Purikura is a RIDICULOUS photo booth that you pay $4 to take these pictures of you and the camera gives you these giant doll/doe eyes.  I HATE THEM!  The only time I have ever been in a good attitude about them, is when I am with some students that want to take them.  Otherwise, I'd rather spend my money on Starbucks.  I was at my last stages of niceness at this point.  We left the mall.  Autumn and MB make a suggestion to walk to this other mall, to do some more shopping.  "SHOOT ME NOW!" were my thoughts.  I just stayed quiet and walked about 3 steps behind them as we left.

It was dark outside at this point.  Autumn suggested we walk closer to the water to take more pictures of the ferris wheel.  I just shook my head and continued on behind them. I was desperately trying to find the happies deep down inside.  I really did want MB to enjoy her time here, I just didn't know how to fake that I was having a good time. And that's when I heard him...

"My gift is my song... and this ones for you."

I looked down the sidewalk and way in the distance I could see this tall figure.  "Is that Kev?" I asked.

"Yup," MB replied.

"Is he in Japan?"

"Yup."

At that point, I was about to run to him.  But then he kept singing and I realized HE'S PROPOSING!

That's when MB started videoing me walking towards him. That's when I realized that all the silly pictures, long walks in the cold weather, and shopping were all just to get me at that exact spot at that exact time.

"Your Song" is a song originally by Elton John, but it was remade when Moulin Rouge came out.  The day before Kev and I started dating, we were in my car singing that song at the top of our lungs.  He changed some of the lyrics to this:

From the moment we met
Girl you captured me
I had to be with you e'en
Date you overseas

But the Lords been kind
While we were apart
He brought to Japan and
Joy filled up my heart

So excuse me for my lines
They're cheesy I know
But I really missed how
Your beauty how it glows

And you see the thing is
What I want to say
I love you so much
I could not stay away!

He is the most amazing man!  Of course I said YES!  We always joked that I was too unpredictable, so neither of us knew how I would react when he proposed.  Would I cry?  Would I laugh? Would I do both?

Yes, he even danced with me!

Is this really happening?

I love him!

SO HAPPY!

Wahoo!

Autumn, Luke, Kev, MB, and me... Great friends who put up with my belly aching all day!

The box says, "Kevin and Stephanie" and a light turned on when you opened it so that I could see the ring in the dark!  Brilliant!

I could not stop smiling.  I was so excited and so completely surprised that he was standing in front of me.  I laughed and laughed and laughed.  This was by far, the happiest moment of my life!  I love Kevin so much... and I can't believe I get to keep him!

Here is the video in case you didn't see it (It's perfect!):

The Proposal... or at least we are about to get there

So here is the background to the story...

Kevin and I both really wanted to go home for Christmas.  He wanted to spend time with his family and I really wanted to attend Kerry and Chris' wedding.  The rough part was remembering a bulk of the reason I came to Japan (to pay off my student loans).  It was hard for me to justify spending $1700 for a flight, knowing that I hadn't made a big dent in my student loans yet.

Kevin booked his tickets home from December 21 - January 5th.  I decided not to go.  It hurt.  A lot.  Especially when I Skyped with Kev's family and when I saw updates on Kerry's wedding.  I just wanted to be there.  But, I was here in Japan.

Japan had it's own blessings.  My friend, Mary Beth, came in from Miyako-jima for Christmas and New Years.  We had a blast! We looked up old photos from college.  Here are a few that brought back terribly awesome memories... A lil' "Brown Squirrel" anyone?

Even with all the laughter and fun activities, I missed Kev like crazy!  We dated for a year long distance. You would think 2 weeks would be a cake-walk... WRONG!

On December 30th, I had not heard from Kev in 2 days...GASP!  Mary Beth thought it would be a great idea to spend the day shopping in Sakuragicho.  If you know me at all, you know that those are two of my least favorite things: shopping and crowds.  But, MB had spent little time in the Yokohama area and if this is what she wanted to do, so be it!

So off we went to stare at overpriced trinkets that have no purpose and to get shoved around by people who are 50 pounds lighter than me, but can throw me into a wall way too easily.  The more we shopped, the more irritable I became. And thus starts the beginning of the most amazing proposal...  

More to come...

Things I Find Funny

70 years ago today is the day Pearl Harbor was attacked.  I don't find this part funny, just an interesting thought to reflect on.  My 11th grade students are in Nagaski right now on a week long field trip.  In light of eternity, 70 years is a short time frame and so much has changed.  I am sure if you would have asked my grandfather back in 1941 if he ever thought it would be possible for his grandchildren to live peacefully in Japan, he would have said no.  But here I am.

On to the funny stuff.  My students are hilarious!  Maybe I was a bad teacher in America.  I never got giddy to grade papers or tests like I do in Japan.  Maybe that is because my students never said some of the things my Japanese students say.  Let me enlighten you...

My 8th grade students (this is their 2nd year in English) were learning sentences that were built like this: subject + to be + adjective.  An example I gave was "He is tall."  I cannot even begin to tell you the number of papers I got back that said, "She is easy."  

In that same grade, they were learning to say future tense sentences with "to be".  This is just a reminder that I teach at an all-girls "christian" school.  One of my girls wrote, "I will be a male nurse."  Knowing they had to stand up in class and read their future tense sentences, I tried to talk with the girl before she embarrassed herself.  But, lo and behold, that was exactly what she wanted to say.  To my surprise, my co-worker had another girl in her 11th grade class give a "Future Speech", that is a speech where they talk about their future goals and plans, about the fact that she wanted a gender reassignment.

My 9th grade students just got back from a two week field trip to New Zealand.  One of the questions they had to answer when they got back was, "What is the difference between uniforms in New Zealand and uniforms in Japan?"  One student wrote, "New Zealand uniforms are one piece dresses and Yokohama Jogakuin's uniforms are jackets and shit."

We have one student who comes to our row nearly everyday at lunch to talk with us.  She is loud and really happy and super non-traditional Japanese.  She really likes sparkly things like sequin and flashy jewelry.  The other day she said to my co-worker as sincerely and excited as always, "I really like the costumes you always wear."  

Oh, and I can't forget the best one yet.  Below is what a 12th grade student wrote on a pretest for an entrance exam into college.

Yes, I love my job.    It is quite wonderful and always exciting.  My students are great and I love that they experiment with the English language.

In the near future I plan to post a blog about learning to speak fluent Japanese.  Stay tuned...

Happy Wedding Day Cake!

Being a gaijin

Dedicated to Stevko -

The Big Buddha

I have had my first episode of culture shock.  It's nothing major.  I just have not seen so many drunk adults in my life.  Let me rephrase that.  I have not seen so many drunk adults throwing up in public in my life.  If I was going out on the weekend in America, I may see an occasional 20-something throwing up.   But even that was rare.  Here - If I ride a train after 9pm, I am almost guaranteed to see some 40 year old puking.  The other evening I was coming home on a train.  I look over my shoulder and see this woman holding on to the rail with the tips of her fingers.  She is about 40 and swaying back and forth.  She's clearly drunk.  Her 5 year old daughter is standing beside her.  About a minute later I hear this blood curdling scream from the same direction.  I look over and the lady has vomited all over herself and her daughter is freaking out.  It's running down her business suit and into her shoes.  She doesn't move.  Her daughter keeps screaming and crying.  She just keeps letting it come out and run down her.  Then they board the train.  It makes me so angry.  But the culture is different here and I surely don't understand it after just 2 months.

There is another instance too...
Let me preface this by saying, I am in no way comparing this to the civil rights era.  Growing up, where I did, I don't feel like I was ever really around racism or severe prejudices.  I'm sure it happened.  I just don't have any memory of it.  Maybe it's because it's less likely to happen to a white person.  I don't know.  I do remember experiencing it in college for the first time.  I had befriended a person at my Christian school only to find out that black people were not allowed at her house.  I thought she was joking.  A terrible joke, but I thought it was a joke.  Turned out to be true.  We were never friends again.  And that was a crazy paradigm shift in my life.  I honestly didn't think people like that existed anymore.  Little did I know about the south.  Well, anyway, I am getting a little dose of it over here.  Not from everyone. Most people are very nice and pleasant to me.  But then there are those times when I can clear a train car because I am a gaijin, a foreigner.  In a packed train, where there is breathing room only, I have had an invisible barrier built around me.  Everyone else is crammed and being shoved, but no one will come near me.  Some might see this as a luxury.  And sometimes I think the jokes on them.  But most of time it hurts.  It hurts knowing I repulse someone by my mere existence.  Anyway, those days are few and far between.  I only explain them because I notice.

Now on to school.  Wow, is it different here.  To my knowledge, none of the teachers have their own classroom.  Our desks are in one big room set up almost like an office with cubicles.  It's a bit more socially friendly though.  I sit in a row of foreign teachers.  The principal and administration are two rows in front of me.  If a student needs help or has a question, they come to the teacher room and find us in our rows.  The teachers travel from class to class and the students are stationary.  The style of teaching is different too.  In America, it is all about differentiation and teaching a student to meet their individual needs.  In Japan, it's a one-size-fits-all approach.  You teach to the middle.  The responsibility for learning is more on the students than on the teacher.  My classes all have wooden desks with a teacher's desk front and center and a chalkboard behind.  We do have new TV's in each room and I think that is because Japan just required all their people to switch to digital TVs.  I teach 15 classes a week.  My busiest days are Wednesday and Friday when I teach 4 classes.  Even on those days, that leaves me with 2 preps and a lunch.  It's pretty amazing.  I actually have time to unit plan and plan ahead.  Every morning at 8 am the bell rings, someone stands up in front of the teacher's room and leads a hymn and then shares a verse from the bible.  At 8:30 we have chapel that lasts for about 20 minutes.  The students stand in straight lines through the whole message.  Though I teach at a "Christian" school, most of our teachers and staff are not Christians.  In Japan, it's all about the routine, tradition, and presentation.  Funny that I moved to a country with such strong characteristics.  If you know me at all, I despise routine, question most things that are done out of tradition, and strive to never present myself in a way that is anything other than myself.

Well it's late... that's all for now...

Plethora of things

This is Yokohama at night.

To be honest... I am loving Japan.  There is a peace and restfulness here in one of the busiest places I have ever lived.  I cannot pinpoint just one thing that makes Japan so enjoyable.  It's really a plethora of things. Like the people I am beginning to invest in at work.  For the next month or so, I will be getting to know my co-workers more than my students.  The schedule at school makes that possible.  The friendships that are developing there and at church are very encouraging.  I am also attending/helping out at a ministry called Greenhouse.  This is an after school function where several schools around the area will have their students come for extra English practice.  We eat, sing, and just share in life with our students.  The goal is that we will live and teach in such a way that our students will know Christ for who He is.  Through Greenhouse, I am able to meet other teachers in the area.  We actually have a karaoke night planned for next Saturday.  I am stoked!  I only wish Laura Erickson and Kerry McDaniel could be there to partake in the joyous occasion!

I also really enjoy the amount of walking I do in a day.  I am not kidding when I say I live on a big hill.  As much as I thought it would be a pain, I actually love it.  It's good for sprint training.  There is also a quaint little park about a mile away.  I ran there today and then ran around the park.  I must have looked like a fool with the giddy smile across my face as I ran.  It was AMAZING! 

Japan is also giving me opportunities to try new foods.  The other day I ate Shabu Shabu, which is thinly sliced raw meats that you cook in a soup at your table.  The meat, though thin, still has a lot of fat on it.  However, it was delicious!  I also went to an Indonesian restaurant and ate chicken off the bone... that is a HUGE step for me!  There are also several Indian restaurants here with amazing curry, which is quickly becoming my favorite.  Tonight I even ate lamb in my curry... crazy!

I also have to admit that being able to actually date my boyfriend is quiet lovely.  I get to see him several times throughout the week and IT. IS. AWESOME.  I just love him.  I love dating him and the fact that I can hold his hand nearly anytime I want!

On the bench: Me and my roommates Beth and Autumn.
Rachel is across from us and is Autumn's sister and a new friend of mine.
Arai is a co-worker who took us out for curry and dessert! 

Of course there have been some hard times too.  Living with roommates has its ups and downs.  While it has been mostly good, there are times when personalities clash.  We are learning each other and that can often take a while.  Please pray for us.  Pray for unity and hearts that are truly "others" minded.

I could also use your prayers in other areas too.  It seems that the potter is molding the clay.  Many of you know that some of the most difficult people for me to love and show compassion to are Christians who have a very narrow world-view (meaning they haven't experienced a lot, but tend to think they have).  My prideful attitude often gets in the way and I use what I deem as their foolishness as a reason not to love them.  I often do not have compassion on their circumstances because I think they are weak and that they need to buck-up.  Even as I write this, I think what I am saying is right.  And, maybe it is.  Maybe it's not.  But even if the way I see it is the right way or better way, it is still no reason to be unloving towards them.

Anyway, all that to say... please continue to pray for me.  I have a lot to learn in this big world.