Phasing Out

I remember, several years ago, sitting down with my small group and choosing an adjective to describe each member.  When it was my turn for them to describe me, the consensus was “passionate.” I have ALWAYS hated that word. In my mind there is a negative connotation with it.  But, that is what they chose, and I have to admit it’s true.  If you know me at all, it is extremely uncharacteristic of me to do anything in life half-hearted. That includes teaching.

I have been a teacher for 6 years.  6, very devoted, crazy with passion, years of education.  And, that time is now coming to an end… I think.  July 19^th marks my last day as a professional teacher.  I will be transitioning into the role of a stay-at-home-super-momma.  Being the passionate person that I am, you’d think my heart would be super uneasy about this decision.  However, I find it to be quite the opposite.  I’m relieved.

Please don’t misunderstand. I have loved being a teacher.  Even when there were painful tears involved, I have still loved being a teacher.  Reminiscing about my students brings absolute joy to my heart.  They have made all the red-tape and cranky parents worth it.  Even still, the one adjective that comes to mind when I think about this chapter of my life closing is relieved.

I know some won’t understand this and others won’t agree, but it seems like throughout the last several years of my life, my heart has been longing to be a wife and mother.  That desire has been making this transition easier.  I have been working since I was 12.  The thought of not having an income is just weird.  But I am convinced, with all my being, staying at home and building my house is where God wants me.  Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears it down.”  I am excited about the passion that is stirring within me to build this house.  I am giddy, yes giddy, about pouring all I am into being a wife and mother.  This is the best way I know how to serve, honor, and glorify God, who has been so graciously showering me with blessings.

I feel like I have made good use of the time I was single.  It was never a guarantee that I would get married and I was NOT about to just sit around and wait for that to happen.  I graduated from high school (which if you knew me back then, you would understand just how big of a miracle that actually is). I got a bachelor’s degree. I got a master’s degree. I went on missions trips to countries in Africa, to Haiti, to Ecuador, and now to Japan.  I traveled to Costa Rica, to Canada (BC and the Yukon people…. They’re friggin’ beautiful!), to Mexico, and to Thailand (yes, I know I was married for two of those, but still!)  I moved over 2000 miles away from my family and friends to start teaching.  I have traveled all over the US, including Alaska and Hawaii, and I’m not done yet!  My life has been greatly blessed.  And this next chapter is just a blessing beyond words.

I’m not sure how to close this post without repeating what I have already said.  I am relieved.  I am blessed.  I am giddy.