Kevin and I are putting together our home. WEIRD! We just purchased all kinds of random items for the house including... our baby-making bed. That was, well, weird to purchase together. It is so weird to think that in less than 3 months I am going to live with a boy.
What is even CRAZIER is thinking that I could be pregnant in the next year. I have NEVER thought of any of this before. I guess I have been so caught up in the "honeymoon" stage of engagement that these thoughts never crossed my mind... until now.
Though I am 28, I get short of breath just thinking about the fact that I could have a baby relatively soon in my life. Yikes. Now, I would love to have children one day, but the thought that, that day may be soon... wow... well it leaves me a lil' dizzy.
Lets be clear though, the world knows we are waiting until August 5th. So don't get any ideas =) I'm just sayin'.
So lets rewind a bit and talk about another crazy thing that will happen. I'M GETTING MARRIED! WHAT!?!?!?!
When I was a little girl, I honestly daydreamed about this day. I even have to admit that in junior high, my friends and I cut up wedding magazines and made a journal of what we wanted our weddings to be like when it finally happened to us. The dress I chose back then is hideous! It is so gaudy and it has a train that is as long as the aisle you walk down.
Thank God that reality is so much better than my dreams. I don't even know how to put into words how excited I am to marry Kevin. I honestly cannot describe it.
People have been asking me lately if I am ready to get married. How do I answer that? Is anyone ever ready? Am I? I'll tell you what I know. I know that I am still selfish. I know that at times I still seek my own ways. I know that I am stubborn. I know that I have learned to fight and stand my ground in life because at one time, those characteristics were very crucial and necessary. I know I am slightly a perfectionist. I don't see the point in doing something unless you are going to do it right and do it the best way possible.
I also know I am in love with a man who makes me want to die to myself. He loves in such a compassionate way that I don't want to seek my own way; I want to look out for him. He shows me a whole different side of love that makes me want to surrender my stubborn pride because loving him is so much better than being right or getting my way.
So am I ready to get married? The answer is probably no. I'm not ready because of all the reasons I mentioned earlier. But when you put Kevin into the equation, the whole scenario changes. Am I ready to marry Kevin? HECK YES! I am ready to marry Kevin because Kevin is the most courageous, selfless, pure-hearted, Christ-led man that I have ever met, and he inspires me to love in ways I have never known before.
I'm getting married folks! Mark your calendars and bring your dancin' shoes because we're gonna celebrate!
